My View on Goals and Milestones...

So you have this new baby and all of a sudden you are responsible for another human being. How overwhelming!!! Taking Boo Boo home I was in tears! Half of it was being so emotionally happy to finally have my bundle of joy to enjoy, the other half was me being terrified! What in the world was I going to do with this newborn baby? Will I be able to feed him enough, will I be able to comfort him, and will I be able to take care of his every need? Most importantly: will I be good enough to make sure he grows happy, healthy, and grow up to be a responsible and smart adult? The pressure is on! And for me I felt like it started out right away! That every step and milestone was so important. Luckily, with some time I learned that it wasn't so important when Boo Boo learned how to roll and that he was already saying "hi" at 11 weeks. Man, that was too stressful anyways and boy did I NOT need that!

Everyone always tells you that babies do things at different stages, blah, blah blah. And you find yourself telling other moms that as well when they come to you with worries of their own babies milestones. But, when it comes to YOUR baby, you find yourself with worry when they don't smile at about a month, and don't roll over about 3 months, etc, etc. Yet people keep telling you that all babies are different, and yet it remains to go in one ear and out the other. Obviously YOUR baby should be doing these things and the worrying begins when other moms on facebook brag about their babies doing these things. (as they should, as I do the same ;p )

But ever since Boo Boo turned about 4 months old, I took a different spin on things and got a different way of looking at the big picture. I now look at everything in a month by month span and focus on what I want Boo Boo to hopefully achieve in that month, and if he doesn't achieve it, I add it to the next months goals.  Now obviously if months go by and something isn't being done, I need to re look at it and maybe get the doctors views. If she is okay, than I move on and keep trying.  Hopefully this works well for us and keeps my stress down a bit. I use to always get mad at myself for not getting a good amount of tummy time in the day, I felt he was so behind in all that. Now if he goes a day without I don't freak as much. He will get there on his time. He will crawl when he is ready. It is like a tape recorder in my brain that I always have to press play. Look at his goals Mama JoJo. Look at his goals!!

So yes, every month I will have a list of goals and milestones I hope Boo Boo accomplishes and what he has accomplished in the last month.  These goals may coincide with what the book tells me they should be, but overall I will base it off what I think Boo Boo can do himself. Yes, I will still be looking at facebook and babycenter communities to what other babies his age are doing because I think it is good to know the averages (great to help make reasonable goals as well) and of course I love hearing about how other babies are doing! Also, I love to see how other moms accomplish what their babies are doing and to get great advice on doing things! What a great tool the internet is for us moms! Although I may add that sometimes the internet can be a foe. It doesn't help when you have so many babies to compare to, and it makes it harder to stick with your goals and your own time line for your baby.  You just have to keep yourself in check and don't be afraid to use the valuable resources at hand and take what other babies are doing to help guide you and not to worry or stress you. (yes, easier said than done my friend, easier said than done!).  Focus on your baby and your monthly goals. That is my plan. I think it is helping me greatly so far!

Here is how I will set up my month to month goals, etc. :

• First off, I will list everything Boo Boo has accomplished in the last month and if it was on my last months goals or not. I will write how I helped him or if he did it on his own. I will write my feelings and emotions for his accomplishments. 
• Than I will write what I think he CAN accomplish in the next month and my goals to help him succeed in those. 
• After that I will write out my realistic goals I think Boo Boo will do in that month and try to keep it as reasonable as possible and my reasoning for choosing these goals.
• Lastly, I will write up a summary on how I hope the month will go and to take a quick glance on what I hope for the next month to be and what I hope his near future milestones and accomplishments are.

I will make time to do this every month. I feel this is important for me and Boo Boo. It shouldn't take too long and I can write/type while he naps or is playing with daddy, etc.

I think it will be great to look back and see what Boo Boo has done every month! It will help me understand him better and to see his strengths and weaknesses. When he gets older(probably at a year old), I will probably go to a bi-yearly goal as he really won't need it monthly. A friend of mine (Weird24Seven) gave me this great idea of yearly goals on the birthday which I think is a GREAT idea by the way! Totally doing that one with Boo Boo! 

I also hope for Boo Boo to look back one day and enjoy looking at what he did when he was a baby/toddler. My mom lost my baby book and sometimes I wish I knew what I did as a baby! Specially now being a mom for some reason I would love to compare mine with Boo Boos. Again, this falls under all babies do everything different, but come on! We all fall into this trap at certain points, I think it is programmed into us!

I will tell myself again: all babies do everything at different stages,
All babies do everything at different stages, all babies do everything at different stages,
All babies do everything at different stages, all babies do everything at different stages!!!
Maybe shouting it will work? ALL BABIES DO EVERYTHING AT DIFFERENT STAGES!!!

Nope, still wondering what other 5 month old babies are doing and why Boo Boo is or isn't doing the same... Now, if you are one of those moms who are lax about these things, good for you! I inspire to be like you! I do try, taking it a day at a time. Oh no, why isn't my Boo Boo grabbing at his toys yet? I see pictures of babies that are 3 months or 4 months playing with toys, but Boo Boo is just starting into this! Again, I need to re focus and look at my goals here! ALL BABIES DO EVERYTHING AT DIFFERENT STAGES. Grabbing is just something Boo Boo doesn't always want to do. But boy is he one observer and is so alert!! (I think finding something positive always helps reassure that Boo Boo is indeed doing great.)

One day this will stick. ;)  Hopefully my new month by month take on it will help me out. So try it if you are like me or most moms out there! Even if you only start out every couple months, or bi-yearly, or even yearly on their birthdays. Give it a try! I think that you and your child(ren) will enjoy it and grow from it!